Pair a Deez - I Tried - Video

KAREN CAUTION: This song is not for uptight, programmed people. The views expressed in this song are totally fictional, fucking hilarious and strictly for shits and giggles. If you have no sense of humor, this song will just make you cry and suck your thumb while pissing the bed. However, if you like sick jokes and tasteless humor, you're in the right place. This instant classic is a bold and italic statement on and a rhythmic reflection of how crazy and lost our daft society has become. It is a mockery of people that pay attention to the lies and trickery of the mass media and entertainment industries. It is also a study on why people struggle so much to be who they were born to be instead of making up a split personality delusion they present as real. What kind of pansy bullshit is that? Nobody like a quitter. As a hypothetical question: If you tell your kids they can be anything they want when they grow up, what if they choose to be giraffes? If you support that, then you're gonna have stinky kids that get their skin tattooed khaki all over with random brown splotches and have cosmetically stretched necks and ears who only eat leaves and fruit directly off of trees and bushes while strolling around naked on all fours, blocking traffic and taking fat dumps wherever they want. Is that what you want for your kids, to be freaky, schlong-necked feculator roadblocks that are sometimes hunted for their tongues, rectums and penises? How could you even think of something like that? That's just disgusting and irresponsible. Let me not fail to mention the difficulty they're going to have working and/or socializing. Have you ever seen a giraffe at a job interview? The only careers for giraffes are circus performer and zoo exhibit. Neither one pays very well, especially not enough to pay off a car note and a home loan. A giraffe can't get a driver's license, so they can't drive for Uber or Door Dash and giraffe porn is illegal, so they can't make money with a side hustle on OnlyFans. It's a sick catch 22. Look, if you want to raise stank, naked, herbivore shit machines, which you are allowed to allow but I highly advise against, you should probably be in the cattle or sheep business. I hear there's a bright future for weasel ranchers in Ecuador, so you have some sweet options. Also, if you ever wondered why someone would want to hack up their bodies and act like they're something they're not, I think this epic ballad to utter fuckery has the answer. Have a listen and see if you agree with my hypothesis.